The simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernable causal connection.” Coined by C.G. Jung (1950s).
I admit it. I have been conspicuously avoiding this space (again). As someone told me recently, “I have been avoiding calling because I did not know what to say to you”. I cannot say I am unfamiliar with the feeling. And, as in all good relationships, I feel that honesty is the best policy. I have not known what to say here.
This blog is, bluntly, (more than) a bit superficial. It is has been a spot to compile endless photos and stories of exotic locales and delicious meals; to share travel adventures and, every once in a while, a bit of science. In its most snarky incarnation, it is for mocking Paris fashion gone horribly wrong, all the while I continue to walk down the street wearing some variation on the jeans and T-shirt combo that is probably seen as a similar faux pas from the other side (all while bitching about the French tendency to be overly critical – pot calling kettle, anyone?). At least the fashion victims are taking a risk, albeit not one I would advise. Do not get me wrong. I enjoy the small corner of the interwebs that is all my own; reaching out across oceans and time zones to connect with friends and loved ones to share this experience on any level makes it all the more real to me.
What this does mean is that when I get caught up in events that go beyond the everyday science/meals/wtf(?) cycle, I do not know how to convey them here. I hesitate to say anything at all. I am notoriously fickle and gullible, so there is more than a bit of fear involved in publishing perceptions and emotions that could change at a moment’s notice for which I may not want to later be held accountable. However, it turns out that, no matter how superficial, this space has become part of me. I miss writing here tremendously. So, although I do have endless posts queued up in the same vein – Centre Pompidou on first Sunday, picnics on the Canal and the best burger in DC – I think I’d rather prattle on about something else this time around. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon, I promise (although I am a bit on the fence about discontinuing FFFFP for exacerbating my aforementioned snarkiness).
It is no secret that, over the past several months, the direction of my life has changed significantly. Grieving a serious relationship and questioning how to define myself for myself (as I tend to get lost in others) are part of that process. From an objective viewpoint, the next step is healing enough to open oneself up to new people, experiences and philosophies. Upon reflection, it makes some kind of karmic sense that the advent of Spring would usher in these changes for me.
The last month has been surreal. Through a variety of avenues, a steady stream of new people have come into my life, several of which I am happy and/or hoping to call friends. Besides the exposure to tasty food, fun neighborhoods and incredible music they have provided, each has challenged me to reevaluate how I define myself. Directly or indirectly I have been pushed to describe who I am, what I believe, about what I am passionate, and who I want to become. Not to mention examining what it will take to get there. This is not the first time I have waxed philosophical about these types of questions. Yet, I feel that the moment has come in which I am equipped to honestly search for the answers.
Recently I found myself recounting in awe that I had, as of late, met several exceptional people. I pointed out how the conversations I had been having seemed to be tapping into a growing urge to more consciously know myself. My companion, in the somewhat bored manner of the French who all appear to be intimately familiar with the tenants of psychoanalysis, tossed out the term that started this post.
“Synchronicity,” she said, “your unconscious is placing you in situations that show you what you need to learn or who you want to be; it is clear.”
Perhaps. At first glance the concept that such interconnectedness to the universe exists runs headfirst into the wall of my rational, scientifically trained worldview. Upon further review, I am not sure it even matters. Maybe it is just important to be in the frame of mind that allows me to look at each encounter and experience as a chance to learn, grow and live life to its fullest in the present moment.
So, that is where I have been while not in this space. Living. Learning. Laughing. Letting go. Open. It feels wonderful. It is also something I want to share – the experiences, the food, the music and the meandering thoughts – without fear. I don’t think that the synchronicity necessarily involves face-to-face contact, but serendipitous interactions through any medium. I am so excited to see where life takes me next.