FFFFP recap (FFFFP #6)

Do you know that moment when your perspective changes and you notice something new about a person or a place and from then on, this feature is all you think about when you see them? Much like realizing that Victor Garber’s ears are lopsided (and one is much bigger than the other) while watching Alias and now having that be all I can think about while he is taking on the super bad guys in the last season (thanks, M)?

After starting my FFFFP feature, this is sort of how I feel about walking down the street in Paris. Rather than paying strict attention to all of the beautiful people (and there are many, many of them here), instead I get distracted by pirate boots and Hammer pants. At first I laughed it off and felt sort of proud, like I had caught a trend early. But as I saw more and more of these particular fashions walking the streets, I once again pulled out the camera to faithfully document (in my opinion) what not to wear. So, rather than introduce a new trend – as we are sort of in between seasons right now these are somewhat more difficult to find – I want to pull a few favorites out of the archives.

We started with Pirate Guy. This trend is just on the upswing – I see these boots absolutely everywhere. They are always characterized by a heavy cuff and often by the clunky gait of the wearer. More and more, as the weather turns, they are being paired with colorful leggings, a favorite of mine.

We followed with Ms. Peacock, christened so because she was covered in periwinkle, with the exception of the flashy white boots. Well, I found a challenger to the all-in-purple crown. I’ve coined her Miss Purple Pieman (name that cultural reference!). Rather than take the feathery, cushy pastel route of her predecessor, Miss Purple Pieman preferred the slick grape-hued leather jacket and violet tennis shoes. I was astounded, she was truly in purple from head-to-toe, from the lilac scarf to the violet trainers.

From here we branched out, and first encountered dissidents. I prattled on about the mystery of leggings and brightly colored tights. Put rightfully in my place in the comments, I do acknowledge that a nice pair of tights can make an outfit and keep one warm in the shifting spring weather. And, that being said, they are starting to grow on me a bit – I am still a bit wary of the fluorescent hues, but I am currently intrigued with the checked ones that turn ones legs into a game board. However, I still contend that anything that cuts the legs off a mid-calf is a bad, bad thing. Much like horizontal stripes. Why remind everyone where the thickest part of your legs is?

I really enjoyed writing the Hammer pants post. It was a bit cathartic talking about that first concert and my absolute devotion to early 90’s hip-pop. I was hoping that beyond a few Parisian hippies, the ‘harem’ (Hammer) pants would return to the back of the collective fashion closet. I was so wrong. Although I am happy to report that I have not actually seen people wearing them, I have seen an increasing number in the windows of boutiques. Strangely (to me), they are not always made of linen, cotton or other fabrics that flow. In fact, the pair on display here are made of denim. Like a skinny jean crossed with Hammer pants. So wrong. And so uncomfortable.

Last week we had a reader donate a photo, another head-to-toe color combination, but this time in shocking pink. Maybe some red, although it was hard to tell, the hue looked like it was hurting the camera’s lens. This was not the last I saw of Barbie envy (that link? Barbie in French. Ha!). Pink is the new black, and it is everywhere. Especially when paired with pirate boots.

There is really only one word: synergy.

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2 responses to “FFFFP recap (FFFFP #6)

  1. The ears! Oh my gosh, yes. Same for Steven Colbert.

    I can’t get over those Hammer pants. I can only hope that trend doesn’t catch on over here.

  2. To quote the Fug girls – the woman in the last photo really needs to look into pants.

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