Tap. Tap. Tap.
This thing on?
Wow. It has been almost two weeks. Pardon the interruption. I wish I could say that something fancy was under construction or that I have a big secret project I am working on. But, alas, no such excitement here. I did flit off for a long weekend in Boston, visited The German, caught up on my X-Files (season five – yeah, I am more than a bit behind – better late than never, right?) and ate. And ate. And watched Alice in Wonderland. It rocked.
(and in America I see stuff like this. Hilarious. Nut Man!)
It was somewhat ironic that I started a ‘weekly’ column a few days before I vanished. Well, I am back now, and I wouldn’t want to leave you all without the second installment of our Friday French Fashion Faux-Pas (FFFFP).
I give you:
Obviously, creative naming (Pirate Guy?) is not my strong suit – I am open to any and all suggestions – which actually sounds like a fun contest once a few of these have been collected.
Let us reflect. Head to toe soft blue. More of a cross between blue and purple that was not accurately rendered by my point-and-shoot. Again, we are missing the nuance of texture, as those pants were some type of velour or velveteen. Most impressive is the faux fur. Everywhere. It sort of looks like the John Goodman creature from Monsters Inc. got caught on the wrong side of a sewing machine. Finally, topped off by the look of the season gone horribly wrong – the pants tucked into the white cowboy boots. This is a look that should only be attempted with skinny jeans and leggings. I say attempted because then it must be vetted by a friend known to give her honest opinion about touchy subjects (how big your butt really looks in those leggings). It is possible that all some of those steps were missing here.
Our Lady of Periwinkle was nabbed on film while window-shopping at the aforementioned Fauchon (a post about which is, I promise, is in development). It was a bit of a cheat, as I am pretty sure she was British, not French. But she was trying so hard strutting her stuff in her off-white boots to fit in that I feel like we should give her the FFFFP nod.
Amusingly, what you cannot see is my friend S, just to her right. I will no longer scour the city for FFFFP candidates alone. Having S along ready and willing to stop at a moment’s notice and have her photo taken in the vicinity of potential fashion victim makes for the perfect cover. And, if we babble loudly in English, people actively try to ignore us, which makes the process even easier. At least something funny can come from the obnoxious American stereotype. Not to worry. I will, of course, be happy to run after someone snapping photos on my way to work if necessary, but only if I’m wearing my quiet shoes.
My greatest regret of the day was that I was too slow to capture the 75-year old rollerblader wearing purple spandex overalls (who almost took me out racing down the sidewalk) on film. I need to work on those camera reflexes. Next time, I hope…